Gay men, I have noticed you doing this and must say something. I especially notice this in the church community for obvious reasons. We know there, it’s the most horrible thing to be gay. “But play that organ good, now!”
If you have to constantly refer to these straight men in public and on FB as “big bro” for them to feel comfortable knowing you, they probably aren’t your bro or your friend.
You have a right to be less than family to a straight man. You can be “just friends.” And if he’s uncomfortable with that, give him the long finger. [BIG SMILE]
Stop accommodating their insecurities with the wedge word “bro.” You sound like Job’s wife! *
“Bro” connotes “We are family so it should be okay that I communicate with you in front of people.” Usually this in the vestibule at a musical or in a neo-soul club after the musical. Haha. Black Christians.
It’s like the guy that’ll hang out with his gay brother but not a gay friend. Because obviously he’s not sleeping with his brother. Hopefully.
Are you trying to endear yourself to them? Trying to show that your hands are clean (a second double entendre), that you have no ulterior motives?
Stop playing offense? You don’t even know anything about sports. Hell, I don’t even know if offense is the right word! But sometimes it seems that way. Don’t do that. You dont owe proof that you’re not a sex demon.
Unless you are. *insert ping notification from Jack’d*
The truth is I have very few straight male friends that deserve a “bro” designation from me because they’re too afraid of being thought gay to get that close to me (3). Straight guys love me, but sometimes insecurities can be stronger than friendships.
It’s a privilege for someone to be your friend. Stop nurturing their insecurity and yours with deferential words like bro and bruh.
You don’t call your punk friends that.
**DISCLAIMER – I use words that are common among gay men and especially churchy gay men. This is understood and okay. If you are offended, catch the 10:30 bus to Big Lots and buy a discounted sense of humor.